I have written and saved two posts that I haven't published, because they devolve into me whining about how hard everything is. So I will just say: it is hard. I have had to cut back on my work (no more editing for another month) and I am trying to come to terms with how messy the house is and how little time I have for cleaning it. I know that it will get better when N is out of the newborn phase, but it is hard to just sit there and act like I am content with clutter clutter clutter. I found myself considering staying up all night just to clean it all once, but I can't do that.
Feeling a bit of tired sadness that comes from trying to do too much and be too much. But it's sad to know that I have to pare down my list of what I can actually accomplish in a day. It's really hard for me to do. I think it's a kind of conceited-ness, to think that I should be able to do so much with a newborn, and I have to wake up and be more realistic. Yuck!