Obedience

This week I am working on getting the house under control and basically organized. The way I usually operate is that I go through phases of trying really hard, then I find it impossible, then I have some deadline, then I quit trying, a week goes by, and then I try again to get it under control but it's hard because I've let it go for a week. It's actually quite a bit like losing weight, or at least my experience with losing weight.

I have never really known how to keep a clean house, and I have to kind of learn it as I go. One thing I have learned lately is that it takes pretty much constant effort. This is hard because of course I want to do something and then have it be done, but housecleaning is not like that.

An obstacle I have discovered is part of my own personality -- in general, I do not fight losing battles. If I see that I will not succeed at something, I quit trying, to save my energy for something else. This has cost me a couple of friendships and people close to me have been frustrated and annoyed by this habit of mine, but I just can't get interested in wasting energy on things that are guaranteed to not work. It seems like a foolish waste to even try.

But then, I am thinking lately, life itself is a losing battle -- nobody's going to make it out the other end still alive -- but it's still worth it to live. So maybe it's still worth it to clean, even though the house will never actually be clean.

So this week, I am trying to practice the discipline of cleaning every day, whether or not anything actually stays clean. We will see how it goes! Already, there are more clean clothes. ;D