I haven't written much lately, but it's not because not much has been going on -- it's because the progress I am making is taking place in areas that are boring as far as storytelling is concerned. Over the past 3 weeks or so, I have made progress in housecleaning, getting in shape, and clarifying my goals for the future. All of these things are fascinating to me, but the daily ins and outs of, say, cleaning closets is not exactly fascinating. But it's the stuff of my life, so into the blog it goes!
The House
I have always struggled with keeping spaces clean, always and always. I have thought about it and my best guess is that there is a combination of factors at work -- boredom (because keeping house can be very boring) and anxiety, because housecleaning was a very contentious, dramatic type of situation when I was young and learning how to do it. Or, to be more specific, I was never taught how to keep a space clean, so everything I know about housecleaning I had to teach myself, and I didn't even start learning until I was solidly into my twenties.
So beyond the maudlin backstory, I have a daily struggle with housekeeping because I tend to want to either do it all the way, and hyperfocus on keeping everything really clean, and then something happens in another area of my life and I get too tired to keep it up and then I just feel defeated and don't do much for three days, which leads to chaos which I must then correct by cleaning all day and getting hyperfocused on keeping everything clean... you can see where this is going. So what I am working on now is not keeping a perfect house, but sort of keeping one step ahead of the chaos. Lately I have been clearing out old stuff I don't need anymore, which makes it a lot easier to do the daily maintenance kind of cleaning things that people do when they are good at keeping house. I have bags and bags of old clothes and books that I don't need. I have learned to let more things go by revising my criteria. I want to move toward keeping things only if I really like them and use them. For instance, I got rid of some clothes that are perfectly good, and they even fit me, but they make me feel a little silly so I don't really enjoy wearing them. I realized I was holding onto things like that as insurance against that day when all of my clothes are dirty and I just need something to wear... but what kind of a way is that to live? Keeping things you don't like in case you fall behind in your laundry and are so desperate that you will consider wearing them? That's just silly.
Cleaning in this way feels almost like a spiritual exercise because I am having to face my own illogical thought patterns and decide which ones I want to hold onto, and which ones I am ready to let go of. It's kind of embarrassing to be honest, to realize how irrational I can be about the reasons why I keep things, but I comfort myself with the knowledge that everyone is irrational about something. For some reason my challenge is keeping things clean.
I am sort of in a position to get a handle on all the paper in the house -- I have a lot of things to shred -- I didn't shred for a year because I didn't want to "wake the baby," but now that N is over a year old, she sleeps through the sound of the shredder, so now I can get started. So I got started, and then accidentally jammed the shredder in a way that so far has proved impossible to clear. So, you know, there's a jammed shredder and a new decision -- try to fix it? Spend $30 on a new one? Use the very unsafe old-style one that is in the closet? Except that one is louder, and Norah might not sleep through it, but it is totally unsafe so I can't use it when the kids are around... (it is one of the ones that just stays on no matter what, no matter what goes into it).
Getting in Shape
Once again I have gotten fed up with weighing too much and I have been doing well with my efforts in getting in shape and trimming down. I can't say that I have been doing well with the results, but I have been doing my part very well. These days I have a plateau every 2-3 pounds, which is, to put it lightly, REALLY frustrating. Work hard, lose a pound a week for two weeks, then... nothing. For a month. Then, maybe, lose a little more the next month... Overall it has taken me a full year to lose 20 pounds, and I have another 30 to go. I would really like the second half to go faster, but that's not usually the way it works, is it?
I did discover two things that are helping with the fitness component of the weight loss, which has been the trickier part for me. The first part is Pilates, which works because can do a really intense workout in about ten minutes a day, and the results for me are immediate -- after only one day of ab work, I could tell a difference. And I enjoy it as a workout -- it fits my personality somehow. The second helpful thing is that I realized I avoid cardio workouts because I always get a really bad headache after, which lasts all day and comes back even worse the second day if I exercise again, even worse the third day, and on and on. So I did some strategic Googling and I think I can head these off by taking Tylenol before I exercise, and drinking a lot of water. So I will try that and see how it goes. I think that consistently doing cardio will help me get through the plateaus a bit better.
Clarifying Goals
I have recently realized that I really miss intellectual things, so I am working on a few new writing projects to exercise that part of my brain, and I am really looking forward to them! I will post updates on these when I have anything to report. Also, with our tax refund Ben and I completely paid off our credit cards!!!! It feels so good. Some of that debt we have been carrying since C was born, and it feels good to know that we won't be providing monthly interest payments to those companies anymore. Yay! :) Now, on to the student loans and mortgage... ;D
Overall things are trucking along and while I usually feel like I am only about a half a step ahead of chaos, at least I am still ahead. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go clean up the remains of C's Baby Powder Experiment. I will leave it up to you to imagine the results of his early-morning double-blind secret clinical trials.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Friday, April 8, 2011
Vegetablehead
I just wanted to sign on and post an update about all the random things I have been trying to change.
When it comes to cursing, I am doing worse than the first week of Lent, but better than my normal habits. I have slipped back into more profanity while driving, which is always my weakest point. One thing I have done well this week is really keeping my temper in check and not raising my voice when I am counting to three for C. I stay much calmer and it seems to give him a chance to slow his roll on his own. When I am talking really loud at him or yelling, it's like he feels an obligation to fight back just to stand his ground, but if I keep calm, he wills oemtimes stop misbehaving on his own. I don't blame him, I wouldn't be inclined to cooperate with someone who was yelling down the hall for me to hurryupandputonyourshoesrightnowwehavetogowetalkedaboutthisalreadyspeeditupweregoingtobelate.
On the eating front, it's a mixed bag of slipping and success, but overall a really good outcome.
I have stuck perhaps 85% to my no-white-flour rule, and for a few weeks I ate very little flour at all. At any rate, I am really conscious of it when I am eating things made with flour, which helps me eat less of it. I know it might sound kind of extreme not to eat flour, but I am at my wit's end trying to get the bod to lose weight. I was doing some research about metabolism and digestion, and I was surprised to learn that -- if I understand correctly -- the only time a cell can store fat is in the presence of insulin (people who actually know, is this true? I think it is, but I am not sure.). So I thought, if I avoid having an insulin spike, I can avoid putting on fat, which might make it easier to lose fat, since I won't be replacing all the fat I burn. If that makes sense.
And without sweets and large doses of flour I seem to be doing well with it! :) Of course, I totally bombed on Norah's birthday by eating a lot of cake. I know this will sound braggy in a granola-mom kind of way, but it's seriously true: after eating well for two good weeks and then indulging in so much cake, I felt absolutely terrible! I felt like I'd been poisoned, or at the very least, like I had been out partying really hard. I had a terrible headache and felt all sluggish and gross. So, I can't just indulge in so much sugar anymore. But it makes me crave healthy food, which I can assume is a good thing. :)
I am still a big fan of the Ezekiel sprouted grain tortillas. In fact, tonight I was craving something sweet, so I heated one up and put almond butter and banana slices on it and folded it in half and then half again. It was REALLY good. It was sweet and a little salty and kind of gloopy in that pleasing dessertlike way. And it was really nutritious, and it didn't make me crave more.
As far as using my veggie shares as well as possible, I would probably get about an 85% or 90% success rate on that. I am feeling sad today because I found that my beautiful cut-and-clean greens went bad while I was intending to use them :( (Interestingly, "intending" to use a vegetable soon doesn't render it incapable of spoiling. Note to self...). I made vegetable soup again today, and it seems to be a good solution to using up every last scrap of vegetable. I added some rainbow chard stalks (diced) that have been in my freezer for a while.
Grocery bill is getting under control as well, which is great! I'll write more about the budget later, because right now my eyes are starting to cross. It's been a really long day. :)
So, to sum it up, eating experiment is going well and I feel a lot better in general. I have much more energy, and I like that now I am craving the healthy foods rather than yearning for cupcakes.
This post has been a lot of business, but on a personal note my two kids are so much fun these days. Norah is in that super-turbo-development stage between 12 and 18 months. She is saying more words, learning more skills; new stuff every day. Chris is so perceptive. I am amazed by the fact that he can watch five minutes of a story on TV and know who all the characters are, what their names are, how they are related to one another, and what their motivations are for their actions. I feel like he is ready to learn things, more than they teach him at school. Where should I start?
His personality is growing more and more like mine -- he likes to be social but then he hits his limit and has to be by himself for a while. It is kind of cool to be able to help him navigate things as a friendly introvert, instead of just labeling him shy and trying to make him change.
So that is that. I am writing in circles now. More soon. :)
When it comes to cursing, I am doing worse than the first week of Lent, but better than my normal habits. I have slipped back into more profanity while driving, which is always my weakest point. One thing I have done well this week is really keeping my temper in check and not raising my voice when I am counting to three for C. I stay much calmer and it seems to give him a chance to slow his roll on his own. When I am talking really loud at him or yelling, it's like he feels an obligation to fight back just to stand his ground, but if I keep calm, he wills oemtimes stop misbehaving on his own. I don't blame him, I wouldn't be inclined to cooperate with someone who was yelling down the hall for me to hurryupandputonyourshoesrightnowwehavetogowetalkedaboutthisalreadyspeeditupweregoingtobelate.
On the eating front, it's a mixed bag of slipping and success, but overall a really good outcome.
I have stuck perhaps 85% to my no-white-flour rule, and for a few weeks I ate very little flour at all. At any rate, I am really conscious of it when I am eating things made with flour, which helps me eat less of it. I know it might sound kind of extreme not to eat flour, but I am at my wit's end trying to get the bod to lose weight. I was doing some research about metabolism and digestion, and I was surprised to learn that -- if I understand correctly -- the only time a cell can store fat is in the presence of insulin (people who actually know, is this true? I think it is, but I am not sure.). So I thought, if I avoid having an insulin spike, I can avoid putting on fat, which might make it easier to lose fat, since I won't be replacing all the fat I burn. If that makes sense.
And without sweets and large doses of flour I seem to be doing well with it! :) Of course, I totally bombed on Norah's birthday by eating a lot of cake. I know this will sound braggy in a granola-mom kind of way, but it's seriously true: after eating well for two good weeks and then indulging in so much cake, I felt absolutely terrible! I felt like I'd been poisoned, or at the very least, like I had been out partying really hard. I had a terrible headache and felt all sluggish and gross. So, I can't just indulge in so much sugar anymore. But it makes me crave healthy food, which I can assume is a good thing. :)
I am still a big fan of the Ezekiel sprouted grain tortillas. In fact, tonight I was craving something sweet, so I heated one up and put almond butter and banana slices on it and folded it in half and then half again. It was REALLY good. It was sweet and a little salty and kind of gloopy in that pleasing dessertlike way. And it was really nutritious, and it didn't make me crave more.
As far as using my veggie shares as well as possible, I would probably get about an 85% or 90% success rate on that. I am feeling sad today because I found that my beautiful cut-and-clean greens went bad while I was intending to use them :( (Interestingly, "intending" to use a vegetable soon doesn't render it incapable of spoiling. Note to self...). I made vegetable soup again today, and it seems to be a good solution to using up every last scrap of vegetable. I added some rainbow chard stalks (diced) that have been in my freezer for a while.
Grocery bill is getting under control as well, which is great! I'll write more about the budget later, because right now my eyes are starting to cross. It's been a really long day. :)
So, to sum it up, eating experiment is going well and I feel a lot better in general. I have much more energy, and I like that now I am craving the healthy foods rather than yearning for cupcakes.
This post has been a lot of business, but on a personal note my two kids are so much fun these days. Norah is in that super-turbo-development stage between 12 and 18 months. She is saying more words, learning more skills; new stuff every day. Chris is so perceptive. I am amazed by the fact that he can watch five minutes of a story on TV and know who all the characters are, what their names are, how they are related to one another, and what their motivations are for their actions. I feel like he is ready to learn things, more than they teach him at school. Where should I start?
His personality is growing more and more like mine -- he likes to be social but then he hits his limit and has to be by himself for a while. It is kind of cool to be able to help him navigate things as a friendly introvert, instead of just labeling him shy and trying to make him change.
So that is that. I am writing in circles now. More soon. :)
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Mother or Zookeeper... Part 2
Feeding Norah some Gorilla Munch. I put a few down in front of her, she picks them up and eats them, I put more down, she eats them. Then, I offer her a few, in my hand, thinking she will pick them up and eat them too. Instead, she leans down and eats them right out of my hand with her little mouth, like a goat at a petting zoo.
Y'all are all jealous because I get this kind of entertainment for FREE...
Y'all are all jealous because I get this kind of entertainment for FREE...
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Grocery Wars
I am working on the new eating/cooking plans that I have been writing about for the past week or so, and I have some successes to report!
First, I have used up nearly all of our veggies for this week, with a few veggies left that can easily get used before the end of the week.
I have made a couple of really good, inexpensive meals. I want to pass on 2 points of wisdom that have really helped me do better with the meal planning, not wasting, etc. One of these I learned from my friend Amber, whose budgeting prowess never fails to amaze me.
Amber's tip #1: Have handy catchall dishes that you can put almost anything into. She suggested soup and fried rice, which are nearly always ready for a random vegetable, bit of leftover meat or fish, etc. In fact, it's hard to think of any vegetable or meat that wouldn't fit into one of those two dishes, with the possible exception of iceberg lettuce and hot dogs. Luckily I don't have those two around anyway.
My tip #2: Plan exactly what you will do with everything you buy, and process it immediately when you get home. For example, this week when I got our veggie shipment, I immediately made a huge salad with all of the salad-type ingredients. The result was that I ate a lot of salad and none of the ingredients went bad before I ate them. This might not sounds like a big deal but I was always finding vegetables all nasty in the produce drawer. So, yay for not wasting food!
Then, with regard to the crazy idea I had about not eating flour or added sugar, it has actually gone well. On the first day, I had to cheat and eat pizza, because I didn't plan ahead and that was all that was available. But I ate two pieces, the end. I have a lot of energy. I don't know if it is a coincidence, because a lot of people are talking about having a lot of energy because of daylight savings time. But I really do feel good. We'll see how it goes. It's actually less hard than I thought it would be to avoid flour. Strangely enough I feel like I don't want cake and cookies anymore because I feel so good now. This is probably temporary, though. I am sure that I will start craving it again. ;D I do have to eat more often because (maybe?) I am "using up" what I eat, so I have to refuel a little more often. Any nutritionists out there who want to contribute their insight?
Today I made a really good vegetable soup with beans. Maybe a sort of minestrone. Yum! :)
Now, I have a bunch of potatoes because Ben doesn't eat them right now. Any ideas for something interesting to do with a bunch of potatoes?
First, I have used up nearly all of our veggies for this week, with a few veggies left that can easily get used before the end of the week.
I have made a couple of really good, inexpensive meals. I want to pass on 2 points of wisdom that have really helped me do better with the meal planning, not wasting, etc. One of these I learned from my friend Amber, whose budgeting prowess never fails to amaze me.
Amber's tip #1: Have handy catchall dishes that you can put almost anything into. She suggested soup and fried rice, which are nearly always ready for a random vegetable, bit of leftover meat or fish, etc. In fact, it's hard to think of any vegetable or meat that wouldn't fit into one of those two dishes, with the possible exception of iceberg lettuce and hot dogs. Luckily I don't have those two around anyway.
My tip #2: Plan exactly what you will do with everything you buy, and process it immediately when you get home. For example, this week when I got our veggie shipment, I immediately made a huge salad with all of the salad-type ingredients. The result was that I ate a lot of salad and none of the ingredients went bad before I ate them. This might not sounds like a big deal but I was always finding vegetables all nasty in the produce drawer. So, yay for not wasting food!
Then, with regard to the crazy idea I had about not eating flour or added sugar, it has actually gone well. On the first day, I had to cheat and eat pizza, because I didn't plan ahead and that was all that was available. But I ate two pieces, the end. I have a lot of energy. I don't know if it is a coincidence, because a lot of people are talking about having a lot of energy because of daylight savings time. But I really do feel good. We'll see how it goes. It's actually less hard than I thought it would be to avoid flour. Strangely enough I feel like I don't want cake and cookies anymore because I feel so good now. This is probably temporary, though. I am sure that I will start craving it again. ;D I do have to eat more often because (maybe?) I am "using up" what I eat, so I have to refuel a little more often. Any nutritionists out there who want to contribute their insight?
Today I made a really good vegetable soup with beans. Maybe a sort of minestrone. Yum! :)
Now, I have a bunch of potatoes because Ben doesn't eat them right now. Any ideas for something interesting to do with a bunch of potatoes?
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Party Pants
I put my party pants on this weekend, and had a great birthday celebration. Letchwurth and Electroplate serenaded the crowd with some fantastic musical stylings, and they played me a ZZ Top song in lieu of Happy Birthday ;D I loved it.
As I loudly told many people that night (no drinks were involved of COURSE... ahem...), I would have killed to have that party in high school, when I was desperate for coolness, which was always just out of my reach.
Reasons My Party Would Have Been the Ultimate Coolness Booster in High School:
1. Took place at a warehouse
2. Lots of older guys there... oh, wait, I'm that old now, too. Moving on:
3. Bands!
4. I am with the band(s)!
5. Red Solo cups filled with mixed drinks
6. Ice chest full of Bud cans
7. Band did a song dedicated to me
8. THE COPS CAME BECAUSE WE WERE TOO AWESOME
9. Biggest full moon in 20 years
10. I was wearing real cowboy boots
Superficial list? Yes. But when you were as un-cool as I was in your adolescent years, these kinds of things matter.
Also, it turns out that the secret to being cool is to stop worrying about being cool. Instantly you will become cool. If only I had known this earlier. ;D But being uncool built my character, I guess?
Aside from that, the healthy eating is going pretty well this week. No weight loss on the scale, but clothes are looser, a bit. The weather is LOVELY.
This and not much else, bumping around in my head these days. What about you?
As I loudly told many people that night (no drinks were involved of COURSE... ahem...), I would have killed to have that party in high school, when I was desperate for coolness, which was always just out of my reach.
Reasons My Party Would Have Been the Ultimate Coolness Booster in High School:
1. Took place at a warehouse
2. Lots of older guys there... oh, wait, I'm that old now, too. Moving on:
3. Bands!
4. I am with the band(s)!
5. Red Solo cups filled with mixed drinks
6. Ice chest full of Bud cans
7. Band did a song dedicated to me
8. THE COPS CAME BECAUSE WE WERE TOO AWESOME
9. Biggest full moon in 20 years
10. I was wearing real cowboy boots
Superficial list? Yes. But when you were as un-cool as I was in your adolescent years, these kinds of things matter.
Also, it turns out that the secret to being cool is to stop worrying about being cool. Instantly you will become cool. If only I had known this earlier. ;D But being uncool built my character, I guess?
Aside from that, the healthy eating is going pretty well this week. No weight loss on the scale, but clothes are looser, a bit. The weather is LOVELY.
This and not much else, bumping around in my head these days. What about you?
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Food Strategy
A practical post today. Over the past 6 months or so I have been slowly making over our eating -- trying to fit more organics in, natural/organic meats, less HFCS, more whole grains, etc.
This past week I noticed something interesting. I bought some Ezekiel 4:9 tortillas, which are made with all sprouted grains, no flour. I noticed that when I ate them for breakfast, I wasn't hungry all morning, and I lost a pound this week too.
I am also trying to consider how to simplify our eating so that we waste less food -- I still come across some spoiled food every week, and I want to cut that down to almost nothing. I also want to look at ways to eat well and inexpensively, and I know it is possible -- it will just take some more work and foresight.
Complicating matters are (1) Fridays in Lent, which mean no meat. This is not a big deal, but it is an extra thing to think about. (2) Ben gave up potatoes for Lent, so trying to find enough starch to feed him when he dislikes pasta, squash, oatmeal, and hippie grains like quinoa and amaranth. Mmm, grits, anyone? (3) Norah eats all the time now so I have to figure out real-food solutions for her. This is not that complicated either, but it does take some planning.
So. I am cobbling together some principles to try out, and see how they affect our use of food. Here are my ideas so far. I might not incorporate all of these, and I might add to the list as well. I would love to hear any suggestions that anyone has!
1. For me, I am trying a flourless week. It sounds crazy, I know, but when I don't eat flour I lose weight a lot faster. I will still eat grains and carbohydrates in general, just not flour.
2. Use more beans. They are cheap and easy to fix, and they are healthy. Homemade refried beans are reeeeeeally good.
3. Keep the Ezekiel tortillas on hand. I have found a recipe for sprouted grain bread here, and in a few weeks I might try it. I am not jumping into that yet, but it might be worth it later.
4. Buy natural foods in bulk. New Leaf Market here has some great bulk options, for much cheaper than pre-packaged stuff.
5. Buy dry grocery items (tomato sauce, cereal, etc.) in bulk at discount prices.
6. Cook myself several meals on Sunday and freeze them in portions to eat during the week. This helps me avoid the I-don't-have-enough-time trap, which often leads to things like chicken fingers and tater tots. And half-packages of Oreos. Just for example.
7. Process veggies on the day I get them. I am thinking that on veggie day (the organic buying club provides a new shipment every week) I will make a salad out of the perishable salad stuff -- lettuce, tomatoes, etc. -- make a fruit salad, chop up the snacky veggies like celery and carrots, and wash, chop, and freeze the things that can be frozen. This way everything is on hand and ready to go.
8. Plan meals along with the veggie shipment. This would be easier if the buying club posted veggie lists ahead of time, but they don't always. So, mostly, shop on Wednesdays, the day after veggie day.
9. Clean out and inventory the stuff I already have before shopping, to avoid the seven-bottles-of-unopened-ketchup-but-no-mustard-anywhere syndrome, which I am sure you are all familiar with. ;D
That's about it for now. Just an experiment. Suggestions?
This past week I noticed something interesting. I bought some Ezekiel 4:9 tortillas, which are made with all sprouted grains, no flour. I noticed that when I ate them for breakfast, I wasn't hungry all morning, and I lost a pound this week too.
I am also trying to consider how to simplify our eating so that we waste less food -- I still come across some spoiled food every week, and I want to cut that down to almost nothing. I also want to look at ways to eat well and inexpensively, and I know it is possible -- it will just take some more work and foresight.
Complicating matters are (1) Fridays in Lent, which mean no meat. This is not a big deal, but it is an extra thing to think about. (2) Ben gave up potatoes for Lent, so trying to find enough starch to feed him when he dislikes pasta, squash, oatmeal, and hippie grains like quinoa and amaranth. Mmm, grits, anyone? (3) Norah eats all the time now so I have to figure out real-food solutions for her. This is not that complicated either, but it does take some planning.
So. I am cobbling together some principles to try out, and see how they affect our use of food. Here are my ideas so far. I might not incorporate all of these, and I might add to the list as well. I would love to hear any suggestions that anyone has!
1. For me, I am trying a flourless week. It sounds crazy, I know, but when I don't eat flour I lose weight a lot faster. I will still eat grains and carbohydrates in general, just not flour.
2. Use more beans. They are cheap and easy to fix, and they are healthy. Homemade refried beans are reeeeeeally good.
3. Keep the Ezekiel tortillas on hand. I have found a recipe for sprouted grain bread here, and in a few weeks I might try it. I am not jumping into that yet, but it might be worth it later.
4. Buy natural foods in bulk. New Leaf Market here has some great bulk options, for much cheaper than pre-packaged stuff.
5. Buy dry grocery items (tomato sauce, cereal, etc.) in bulk at discount prices.
6. Cook myself several meals on Sunday and freeze them in portions to eat during the week. This helps me avoid the I-don't-have-enough-time trap, which often leads to things like chicken fingers and tater tots. And half-packages of Oreos. Just for example.
7. Process veggies on the day I get them. I am thinking that on veggie day (the organic buying club provides a new shipment every week) I will make a salad out of the perishable salad stuff -- lettuce, tomatoes, etc. -- make a fruit salad, chop up the snacky veggies like celery and carrots, and wash, chop, and freeze the things that can be frozen. This way everything is on hand and ready to go.
8. Plan meals along with the veggie shipment. This would be easier if the buying club posted veggie lists ahead of time, but they don't always. So, mostly, shop on Wednesdays, the day after veggie day.
9. Clean out and inventory the stuff I already have before shopping, to avoid the seven-bottles-of-unopened-ketchup-but-no-mustard-anywhere syndrome, which I am sure you are all familiar with. ;D
That's about it for now. Just an experiment. Suggestions?
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Blessed Day
I have stumbled on a new way of celebrating my birthday, and it is so pleasing, I have to share it.
A few moths ago I came across this post, just as I was starting to sweat about turning the big 3-0 myself. The idea of spending the day doing random acts of kindness sounded like a great way to avoid wallowing or even just avoid being focused on myself, whether in a positive or negative way.
So first, I made a plan. I wanted to do something that was truly random, not just helping people that I picked to help, or something, and I thought it would be better (somehow, I don't really know why) if I did things where the person receiving it wouldn't have to say thank you. I think I tend to get a little attached to the gratitude aspect of doing nice things for people, which really works against the real purpose of being generous. So I wanted to do something that would not result in any thank-yous, at least not to me.
I dropped C off at school. Pulling out of the preschool parking lot, I still didn't know what exactly I would do. Something was pulling me to the bookstore, so there I went. I popped Norah into the sling and went in. I wanted to do something symbolic (I am a true English student -- I love a good dose of symbolism; I can't help it) so I bought six $5 gift cards -- $30 for 30 years. I sat in the cafe and filled out the cards, saying "Here is a random act of kindness, just for you -- have a blessed day!" I thought, $5 is not going to make or break anyone, but it would be enough to put a smile on my face, if I were receiving it.
I had some tea while I waited for the ink in the cards to dry (which took a surprisingly long time!) and Norah ate some shortbread sticks. Or, rather, she ate about 50% of the shortbread sticks and turned the rest into spitty shortbread paste. She had a great time and I have a giant shortbread paste smear on my red birthday shirt to prove it.
Then, I wandered around the store with my random gift cards, deciding where to put them. I ended up in the baby book section, where I stuck one in the Dr. Sears Breastfeeding book. This exact book put me in tears (it's the one that says if you really want to breastfeed, you will be able to, so failures in breastfeeding are therefore failures of your will as a mother -- great stuff to read while you are struggling to BF). I figured any woman reading that book could use a pick-me-up. Then, my eye caught the YA section. Here, I spent three of the cards, tucking one in Matilda, my favorite book of all time, and one in Secret Garden and My Side of the Mountain, two of my other favorites as a 8-12 year-old. I had two cards left. One I stuck in a chair in the sit-and-read section, remembering how many hours of studying I did in chairs like that, and then I was headed to the how-to section, when a gossipy teen novel caught my eye. I can't remember what it was called, but it looked ridiculous. I started to walk away, and I heard the monologue in my head: "I'm not putting a card in there. That kind of reader wouldn't appreciate it."
Holy crap, the voice in my head is a huge snob!
I turned around and put the card right in that book, just to teach her a lesson. The kindness was supposed to be random, not discriminatory. ;D
It was fun. Pretty soon after that I left the store, packed a lunch, and picked up C. We headed to Wakulla Springs to spend the afternoon with Ben's cousin and her babes, and we had a wonderful, sunshiney day. One of those days that make me glad to live in Florida. The weather yesterday really was like a dream. Thanks to Mother Nature for such a great birthday gift!
I had a great seafood dinner and a nighttime trip to wander around Walmart and catch up with Heather, who I hadn't chatted with in a while.
So, even if my story stopped there, it would be a fantastic day. Sunny, fun, sparkly, and illuminated by the enjoyment of having the time for a few random acts of kindness.
But here's the thing, friends -- the universe got up a little earlier than me yesterday. Oddly enough, in spite of my 6 gift cards, I actually received more random acts of kindness -- in one day! -- than I gave out. In order:
1. After walking C to his classroom, one of the preschool teachers calls out my name. I turn and look, and she is holding up my wallet, which I had dropped from my pocket in the parking lot (!!!) She said she pulled in right next to me and saw it, so she figured it was mine. I thank her profusely, envisioning what my birthday would have consisted of if I had had to cancel and replace all the cards in my wallet. I shudder at the thought.
2. Upon arriving at the bookstore, a lady rushes to hold the door open for me.
3. While buying the gift cards, I tell the cashier that I am going to fill out the gift cards in the cafe, so I don't need a bag. He asks me if I have a pen, and offers to let me borrow one if I need it. No thanks, I say, I have one in my pocket.
4. In the cafe, the barista makes me a hot chai. I tell him I have been craving chai for days and am glad to find it there in the cafe. He makes the drink and tells me he put extra chai concentrate in it just so it would taste more like chai even with the steamed milk added.
5. Upon sitting down to fill out the cards, I discover that in fact I do not have my pen (maybe it fell out with the wallet in the preschool parking lot?). I go back to the cashier and tell him I do not have a pen, and he searches several register stations until he finds a really nice pen, which he hands over.
6. While I am sitting back in the cafe filling out the cards, an older lady comes over and tells me how beautiful and happy Norah looks.
7. Arriving back at preschool to pick up C, a whole crowd of moms and kids halt and move to the side so that I can come through the door first. "You first," they say. "You have a baby." At this point I am starting to feel like I am on candid camera...
8. While buying some food for our picnic at Chik Fil-A, someone from the kitchen area bags up all my food and comes through the side door with it. "I'll carry it out to the car for you," she says. "It looks like you have your hands full." That's right. Carryout service at a fast food restaurant (!).
9. At the Springs, Kellie and I get too ambitious and decide to take all of our gear and four tired children back to the cars in one trip. Halfway up the hill there is a terrible explosion of stuff, and an empty lemonade pitcher goes flying. A random passerby stops and helps me pick it up and get it situated again.
10. While checking out at the Costco liquor store (buying a couple of handles for the party on Saturday) I realize that (of course) my ID is somehow not in my wallet. I say it's all right, I'll come back tomorrow and buy this. The clerk squints and then asks me what year I was born. 1981, I say. It's my birthday! And then I find my ID in the outside pocket of my wallet, saving him from having the bend the law for me. But he was about to anyway, which would have saved me the trouble of going back the next day.
The last item on my list -- #11 -- is a little weird, eerie even. For some reason (the old Holy Spirit whisperings, perhaps) I wanted to cap off my day by buying gas for Heather. But I didn't know how to say it, because I thought she would probably refuse, or be embarrassed, and I don't want my desire to be generous to make someone else embarrassed, because that is not the point of sharing. So at the gas pump, she swipes her credit card and it asks her for a PIN number. Now, I have used those same pumps many times, and it has never asked me for a PIN for a credit card, ever. It asks a PIN for a debit card and a zip code for a credit card, every time. But she tried the transaction three times, and every time it asked for a PIN. She sighed. I guess I can't get gas, she said. So there I was, forced to buy her gas, without having to put her on the spot by offering to pay or anything like that. So I even got to give something to a friend without having to be thanked for random kindness.
So that's it. I did 7 nice things, and I got 11 of them back. So I start out today, at 30 years and one day old, with a debt of four nice things waiting on me as I walk out into the world.
God is so good! Here's to this next decade of my life... so far, so good! :)
A few moths ago I came across this post, just as I was starting to sweat about turning the big 3-0 myself. The idea of spending the day doing random acts of kindness sounded like a great way to avoid wallowing or even just avoid being focused on myself, whether in a positive or negative way.
So first, I made a plan. I wanted to do something that was truly random, not just helping people that I picked to help, or something, and I thought it would be better (somehow, I don't really know why) if I did things where the person receiving it wouldn't have to say thank you. I think I tend to get a little attached to the gratitude aspect of doing nice things for people, which really works against the real purpose of being generous. So I wanted to do something that would not result in any thank-yous, at least not to me.
I dropped C off at school. Pulling out of the preschool parking lot, I still didn't know what exactly I would do. Something was pulling me to the bookstore, so there I went. I popped Norah into the sling and went in. I wanted to do something symbolic (I am a true English student -- I love a good dose of symbolism; I can't help it) so I bought six $5 gift cards -- $30 for 30 years. I sat in the cafe and filled out the cards, saying "Here is a random act of kindness, just for you -- have a blessed day!" I thought, $5 is not going to make or break anyone, but it would be enough to put a smile on my face, if I were receiving it.
I had some tea while I waited for the ink in the cards to dry (which took a surprisingly long time!) and Norah ate some shortbread sticks. Or, rather, she ate about 50% of the shortbread sticks and turned the rest into spitty shortbread paste. She had a great time and I have a giant shortbread paste smear on my red birthday shirt to prove it.
Then, I wandered around the store with my random gift cards, deciding where to put them. I ended up in the baby book section, where I stuck one in the Dr. Sears Breastfeeding book. This exact book put me in tears (it's the one that says if you really want to breastfeed, you will be able to, so failures in breastfeeding are therefore failures of your will as a mother -- great stuff to read while you are struggling to BF). I figured any woman reading that book could use a pick-me-up. Then, my eye caught the YA section. Here, I spent three of the cards, tucking one in Matilda, my favorite book of all time, and one in Secret Garden and My Side of the Mountain, two of my other favorites as a 8-12 year-old. I had two cards left. One I stuck in a chair in the sit-and-read section, remembering how many hours of studying I did in chairs like that, and then I was headed to the how-to section, when a gossipy teen novel caught my eye. I can't remember what it was called, but it looked ridiculous. I started to walk away, and I heard the monologue in my head: "I'm not putting a card in there. That kind of reader wouldn't appreciate it."
Holy crap, the voice in my head is a huge snob!
I turned around and put the card right in that book, just to teach her a lesson. The kindness was supposed to be random, not discriminatory. ;D
It was fun. Pretty soon after that I left the store, packed a lunch, and picked up C. We headed to Wakulla Springs to spend the afternoon with Ben's cousin and her babes, and we had a wonderful, sunshiney day. One of those days that make me glad to live in Florida. The weather yesterday really was like a dream. Thanks to Mother Nature for such a great birthday gift!
I had a great seafood dinner and a nighttime trip to wander around Walmart and catch up with Heather, who I hadn't chatted with in a while.
So, even if my story stopped there, it would be a fantastic day. Sunny, fun, sparkly, and illuminated by the enjoyment of having the time for a few random acts of kindness.
But here's the thing, friends -- the universe got up a little earlier than me yesterday. Oddly enough, in spite of my 6 gift cards, I actually received more random acts of kindness -- in one day! -- than I gave out. In order:
1. After walking C to his classroom, one of the preschool teachers calls out my name. I turn and look, and she is holding up my wallet, which I had dropped from my pocket in the parking lot (!!!) She said she pulled in right next to me and saw it, so she figured it was mine. I thank her profusely, envisioning what my birthday would have consisted of if I had had to cancel and replace all the cards in my wallet. I shudder at the thought.
2. Upon arriving at the bookstore, a lady rushes to hold the door open for me.
3. While buying the gift cards, I tell the cashier that I am going to fill out the gift cards in the cafe, so I don't need a bag. He asks me if I have a pen, and offers to let me borrow one if I need it. No thanks, I say, I have one in my pocket.
4. In the cafe, the barista makes me a hot chai. I tell him I have been craving chai for days and am glad to find it there in the cafe. He makes the drink and tells me he put extra chai concentrate in it just so it would taste more like chai even with the steamed milk added.
5. Upon sitting down to fill out the cards, I discover that in fact I do not have my pen (maybe it fell out with the wallet in the preschool parking lot?). I go back to the cashier and tell him I do not have a pen, and he searches several register stations until he finds a really nice pen, which he hands over.
6. While I am sitting back in the cafe filling out the cards, an older lady comes over and tells me how beautiful and happy Norah looks.
7. Arriving back at preschool to pick up C, a whole crowd of moms and kids halt and move to the side so that I can come through the door first. "You first," they say. "You have a baby." At this point I am starting to feel like I am on candid camera...
8. While buying some food for our picnic at Chik Fil-A, someone from the kitchen area bags up all my food and comes through the side door with it. "I'll carry it out to the car for you," she says. "It looks like you have your hands full." That's right. Carryout service at a fast food restaurant (!).
9. At the Springs, Kellie and I get too ambitious and decide to take all of our gear and four tired children back to the cars in one trip. Halfway up the hill there is a terrible explosion of stuff, and an empty lemonade pitcher goes flying. A random passerby stops and helps me pick it up and get it situated again.
10. While checking out at the Costco liquor store (buying a couple of handles for the party on Saturday) I realize that (of course) my ID is somehow not in my wallet. I say it's all right, I'll come back tomorrow and buy this. The clerk squints and then asks me what year I was born. 1981, I say. It's my birthday! And then I find my ID in the outside pocket of my wallet, saving him from having the bend the law for me. But he was about to anyway, which would have saved me the trouble of going back the next day.
The last item on my list -- #11 -- is a little weird, eerie even. For some reason (the old Holy Spirit whisperings, perhaps) I wanted to cap off my day by buying gas for Heather. But I didn't know how to say it, because I thought she would probably refuse, or be embarrassed, and I don't want my desire to be generous to make someone else embarrassed, because that is not the point of sharing. So at the gas pump, she swipes her credit card and it asks her for a PIN number. Now, I have used those same pumps many times, and it has never asked me for a PIN for a credit card, ever. It asks a PIN for a debit card and a zip code for a credit card, every time. But she tried the transaction three times, and every time it asked for a PIN. She sighed. I guess I can't get gas, she said. So there I was, forced to buy her gas, without having to put her on the spot by offering to pay or anything like that. So I even got to give something to a friend without having to be thanked for random kindness.
So that's it. I did 7 nice things, and I got 11 of them back. So I start out today, at 30 years and one day old, with a debt of four nice things waiting on me as I walk out into the world.
God is so good! Here's to this next decade of my life... so far, so good! :)
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