I like the scene in How the Grinch Stole Christmas in which [SPOILER ALERT] the Grinch hears the Whos singing even though he stole all their presents, and the little heart measurement thing shows his heart growing bigger and bigger until the frame around it breaks.
I am feeling a bit of that right now.
Back when I was first expecting Chris, and then Norah, and even when I had first met Ben, I felt like there was a little something inside my heart, stretching it from the inside and making more room for love and happiness. I feel that way with my family right now.
To put it mildly, it's been a very up-and-down high stress year so far. It has been good, and many good things have come of the struggle, but there have definitely been some rough moments! Now that things begin to come together again, I have been "waking up" at these moments with the family and suddenly realizing that I am head-over-heels in love with my kids. I am just in awe. It's that cliched thing, but it's so true.
Chris especially is amazing me right now. He has really left the terrible twos behind him for sure, and he is noticing so much about the world around him. We were at the beach today and he asked me if I wanted to go on a beach walk with him, and he started a conversation with me. "I like crabs the best. They are my favorite thing that lives in the sea. What is your favorite thing that lives in the sea? Is it crabs, too?" (It's killer whales and dolphins, just FYI.) It's these little things that make my heart burst just like the Grinch's did. I absolutely love it. He says hi to people all over the place, and is less shy than I am. He notices if Ben is napping and asks me to turn down the TV so Daddy can keep resting. He helps his sister all the time, about half the time without even being asked. Today we were making our way to the car over some bumpy terrain at the beach, and I turned and saw Norah instinctively reach out her hand to him, and he took it and helped her. I mean, they are 2 and 4. What amazing gifts.