Saturday, December 4, 2010

Liquid Sunshine

After a temper tantrum on Wednesday, I spent the evening with some friends, being silent and morose I am sure, but it did me some good. The next day B helped me work out a strategy for dealing with random tiredness disease (RTD), including more delegation and more sleep. I have had two nights of 8 hours of sleep and it is making a difference. I am also taking liquid vitamins (better bioavailability, apparently) so I am not sure what part of feeling better comes from sleep, and what part comes from the vitamins, but I will take it, regardless.

The biggest part of "recovery," if you could call it that, is realizing, once again, that I need to seriously revise my ideas about how much I can accomplish in one day and in one lifetime. I feel like I have absolutely no understanding of what is an appropriate amount of things that I can do in a day. I am learning it all from scratch. Whatever seems appropriate to other people seems so, so underambitious to me. So once again I am razing the landscape and waiting to build until I know what I can afford. Minimal obligations of all kinds; lots of time sleeping. Lots of time alone. Screening my calls. Trying to figure out where this crazy life-boat is headed.

[Looking back on this post I see that it looks a bit melancholy, but my experience is very happy -- I am feeling much more myself and getting to know what I can expect from myself. Just dealing with burnout and looking at ways to keep it from happening again.]

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